I read it in Vogue, therefore it must be true. “VogueSpy” to be precise. Because, you know, spying the fact that people still wear denim – especially as jeans, who knew- is worth of a special editorial. I must be extremely hip – I never stopped wearing jeans. Before we all break out into multi coloured confetti, it’s not that easy. As with everything else that we already owned for years but then decided to throw away, because it was so uncool and unfashionable and everything “un” ( think leggings, shoulder padded jackets, leopard print, sequins all over) it’s coming back in a “revamped version”. They have to say revamped because really otherwise it’d be too obvious that they just simply run out of ideas. And because they want you to buy. (evil!) Revamped versions are just that tad different for it to be obvious that you’re still hanging about in your 90’s jeans, when really you should be wearing that new model.
So, what to do? Being rebellious I suggest we fight this, being realistic, we can’t. No matter how obvious the recycling of old trends ( old trends, because you know they worked once already) it will happen, and we’ll succumb, because secretly we never stopped loving that leopard printed, shoulder padded, sequined on back denim rocker jacket. I’m personally going to de-moth my old wardrobe and pull out some denim salopettes I already didn’t fit in when I was 14. I call them salopettes because it’s a funny word, feel free to call them dungarees. Actually, on second thought, that word is just as funny. Anyway, point being, you either look like a little child or someone who builds houses, which – being fashionable and all – might be a little less than perfect.
What is perfect though is the fact that they dress you in one go ( with a top underneath! get your head out of the gutter!), and hide those lovehandles, winter butt and winter tummy of yours. Your body wants cozyness. Give him cozyness, and pretend to be on top of the new trends. Feel free to mention Vogue Spy. Because, you know, you too, spy new trends.
And now, roll yourself into some denim and salopette on!